Marriage and Divorce

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Marriage and divorce is tricky because different churches have different viewpoints.

So, we need to consider some definite facts about the matter.

When is a marriage vow invalid or not legal?

Eve was a virgin until the serpent defiled her. Then she went back to her husband to have sex for the first time with him. But she was not a virgin. That was the original sin.

So, if a woman is not a virgin when she marries, her marriage vow is invalid. God gives every woman a veil of virginity that she must protect until her wedding night. When she surrenders her virginity to her husband, that humbles her, as she surrenders to him what she has spent her whole life protecting. That makes it easier for her to accept her husband as her head because she offers up to him what has been precious to herself.

The first man to have sex with a woman has a profound effect on her because she can never be a virgin again. It is a one-time event.

If a non-virgin marries a man, then the man who took away her virginity will always have a big impression on her as he was the one who humbled her. As such she may never really acknowledge her husband as her head and seek to dominate him or humiliate him by comparing him unfavourably with her first experience. The husband then has no real chance of being her head and can thus put her away as that marriage vow was invalid, but then he must marry a virgin.

DEUTERONOMY 22:23    If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;
:24   Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

Engagement (betrothal) is regarded as marriage in God's eyes. You cannot yet live together until your wedding night. This virgin was humbled and will never really recover from that and thus will not regard her fiance as her real head as he never took away her virginity.

MATTHEW 1:18Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

The spirit of the world is for women to want to dominate (Revelation 17, and the Dark Ages church of Thyatira which means "a dominating woman"). So, to make a woman submissive to her husband takes a lot of self-discipline on her part. A non-virgin will really struggle to be submissive to some other man that she marries.

But if she admits her sin to her future husband and he forgives her,

then the marriage vow is valid and lasts until death.

Then they cannot divorce and re-marry.

ROMANS 7:2   For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth;

but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

Adultery cannot break a marriage vow as the vow lasts until death.

Adultery is a sin against the marriage vow. The sin can be forgiven if confessed and the marriage continues.

Or the innocent party can demand a divorce but then neither of them can re-marry as their marriage vow is until death.

People should always be willing to consider forgiving the guilty party.

We humans often do stupid things but we also often learn from our mistakes and become better people.

Churches have no Scripture to allow remarriage after adultery. Only for fornication which is sex before marriage.

I CORINTHIANS 6:18   Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 

REVELATION 17:3    So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.
:4   And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:

The woman is the Roman Catholic church. Fornication means she is not the Bride of Christ as she has never been married to Him. If she was married to Christ she would be guilty of adultery.
I CORINTHIANS 7:2    Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 

So, to prevent fornication, people must get married.

Sex before marriage is fornication. If she conceals her fornication and marries a man and then if he discovers, after the marriage ceremony, that she is not a virgin, then her vow was invalid. Thus, he is free to remarry as she took a false vow which is not binding on him.

MATTHEW 19:9    And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

A man can only divorce a non-virgin who never confessed this to him before he married her. Because she is guilty of fornication. Unconfessed fornication makes a marriage vow invalid.

DEUTERONOMY 22:28    If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
:29    Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days

She never cried out. Thus, she liked him. This law implies that she would never really accept another man as her head. Thus, the two of them have to marry. Having humbled her, the man now has a life-long responsibility towards her. He can never divorce her for any reason. Such is the seriousness of premarital sex.

A legal marriage vow is valid until death them do part.

When legally married, they cannot divorce and re-marry for any reason.

MARK 10:11   And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
:12    And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

If a legally married couple divorce, they must then live single separate lives and seek to be reconciled if possible.

Thus, if a marriage is not working out the couple should just separate because getting divorced will not allow them to re-marry anyway.

I CORINTHIANS 7:11   But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.